We all have it once in a time, the Oneitis.
Once we fell in love too early and the partner either does not accept our behaviour or we our self just feel strange around them, we have to get rid of the Oneitis.
As it is very important to talk about any problems in a relationship, you can also talk to the person about this if you know each other long enough and had some intimate time already.
I am going to consider 3 Stages, the first is curable, the second is “fixable” and the third is plain impossible or just not worth your energy. In this case of stage 3, you can not do anything but wait and quit the contact.
- You are becoming clingy, you realise, that he/she is not responding that quickly to you as you respond to them.
- You are not allowing them enough space to develop a relationship and rush into their life.
- To fix this:
- Try not to make any contact for 12h first.
You will see: if they contact you within that time, everything is alright, but you still have to slow down.
- If the person does not respond, wait another 12h (on top of that).
Here you will see if the he or she is really into you.
- If there is still no response, text him/her 3 days after you stopped contacting each other.
The person will ask what you were doing if they miss you, but if not, you have to become ice cold now.
- Cut the habit of contacting first and answer at least twice as late as they do.
This indicates that you just had some free time when you were clingy in the last few days.
- You may now meet again! But only, if you feel ready!
- You are stalking the person’s Online Status
- They respond hours after you text them
- They may not even respond at all sometimes
- The person texts only every 12h-24h and sometimes doesn’t answer at all
- To fix this:
- Try the fix from Stage one.
- If you fail, wait for a week, don’t contact this person at all.
Delete or hide everything that reminds you of that person.
If you think you have the willpower, you can at least answer their questions though I do not recommend it at all.
- Now after not contacting them for a week, you have to text them or talk to them on the phone as nothing happened. They will wonder what you did in that time, you become more interesting.
Also: after not contacting this person for a week, you feel a little bit more “free”.
- If you still feel uncomfortable, continue to the third stage.
- You don’t want to meet friends anymore
- All you can think about is this person
- You start masturbating more frequent than ever before (draining your mentality)
- You have no desire for anything right now
- To fix this:
- Or at least, to rescue you as fast as possible from any mental damage:
- You cannot do anything to fix your relationship anymore.
- Stop talking to this person, don’t contact them at all and delete/hide everything that reminds you of them.
- Consider meeting new people
- Meet your friends, they are already starting to miss you.
- Make two lists: one that has all positive factors and one that has all negative ones of that person,
It will be hard to find any negative sides of that person in that stage, but keep in mind, that you mind is just trying to trick you. This what you are experiencing right now is just an illusion.
- Rip the pro list apart and hang the negative list somewhere you can see it.
You can even put it on your desk and keep it there.
- After 2 days throw the negative list away too.
Read it before you toss it though.
- Move on! The best thing now is to forget.
Whatever is in your head now, it is an illusion and is only going to harm you the person you want to be with.
- Forget this person.
If I come up with more stuff I will add it to this list of course 😉
Cheers, Wlad C.