Check your Congruence to fix your Confidence

Sometimes we just “act” confident but project very insecure sings.
Here are a few tips on how to quickly check your alignment of thoughts and actions:

  1. Check your Body language:
    1. Are you standing upright with a straight spine?Fix your posture.
    2. Does your face direct below horizontal or above? Above is good, below is a submissive sign of being unconfident or not feeling that you deserve doing what you’re doing.
      Look up for a few minutes. This might come of a little arrogant, but it’s ok to look like an Asshole for a little while.
    3. Do you unconsciously try to avoid keeping eye-contact?
      Even the slightest escape is submissive action.
      Don’t look directly into the eyes, you can look at their forehead, nose or even their eyebrows or chin. They won’t notice the difference.
  2. Communication
    1. Do you get interrupted quickly by the person you’re speaking to?
      Focus on what the current situation looks like: Are you taking up as much space as always?
      Does the one who interrupts you have his/her head up and keeps eye-contact longer than you?
    2. People are giving you a weird face when you’re talking to them?
      Fringe your eyes and give them a clear sign, that you understood that they are trying to dominate you right now. Just don’t let them do that and accept, that they don’t want a friendship with you and are only focusing on what they can get out of you.
  3. What are your current thoughts and aims?
    1. Are you merely trying to get a reaction out of someone?
      You don’t need a reaction.
      Assume, that the person you are confronting, is thinking positively about you all the time. Don’t try to force them to do so.
    2. Do you think you have to make everyone else like you?
      That means that you accepted being the beta-male.
      This is alarming if this is not what you are and want to be.
    3. You just want to take care of others?
      You are trying to keep the focus or attention off you and focusing on another person.
      This is showing that you have something to hide. Just don’t.
Cheers, Wlad C.

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