Tag Archives: fell in love

Did your partner fall in love with you?

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Recently I wrote an article on how to cure Oneitis.
It’s “symptoms” are though only felt by the person experiencing it.

There is nothing wrong with knowing those signs yourself, as it is normal to give them away.

Once fell in love, you figure yourself thinking about this person all the time,
you cannot think straight if they didn’t text you for a few hours or did not respond at all today.

Even if you were busy all day long and just could not reach this person, they will become nervous when they text you.

You can say that about 95% of People even talk in monologues when texting their crush.

Imagine, this was a chat window:

Partner1: “Hey, how are you?”

Partner1: “I’ve been doing ….”

Partner1: “haha”

Partner1: “How was your day?”

Partner1: “Sorry, I write so much haha”

Of course, they also may just like you, or need some attention at the time.
This indicator itself does not  approve anything but sympathy yet.

A quick check you can do on yourself (if you are having an Oneitis) is:

  1. Do you feel like you are having a rush when the partner touches you?
  2. Do you miss the partner immediately after saying goodbye after a meeting.
  3. Do you feel a lot of tension when you’re alone with them and thinking “I can’t quite express myself right to them. If they only knew…”etc. ?

So, you get the idea. Before being able to read other people, you have to understand, how you feel yourself being in the same situation. Imagine their experience instead of just observing.

The more experience you get, the easier understanding them is.

So, to the 1. point above: Whenever you feel in love with someone, you try to touch them, no matter what. You can observe them doing the same. If they touch you every time they have the chance to do so, they are either gaming you or trying to get a hold on you by actually touching you.

2. point: Missing the partner immediately after parting shows a lot of insecurity, as they feel like you will forget them immediately after leaving, they will try to contact you either in the exact same minute you leave and text you, OR they won’t contact you for 3 days (try to maintain the 3 day rule) if you just started dating.

3. point: The shock when you are suddenly alone with this person.
When you are having a shock, what is the very first thing you do?
You react.

How do you react? 

Facial expression!

How does shocked look like?

  • Staring or opening eyelids as far as possible and more than normal. The “Bamby-Eyes” if you want to name it.

So, now that you found out that your partner fell or did not fall in love with you.
What do you do?

Do you feel the same?

In case they do not show those signs, maybe they are not ready yet?
Maybe you just found this article while searching for approval that they actually might like you despite of all those negative reactions you get?

Leave them some space then.

But, if you do get the desired reactions, congratulations! Have fun with your newly assured partner!

This all is to be taken with a massive grain of salt of course.

Do talk about that you noticed something different in their behaviour, but do not tell them “But this blog said you were in love with me!”

This article is there to help you, but it is by far not a guide to follow one by one.

Cheers, Wlad C.

How to cure your Oneitis

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We all have it once in a time, the Oneitis.

Once we fell in love too early and the partner either does not accept our behaviour or we our self just feel strange around them, we have to get rid of the Oneitis.

As it is very important to talk about any problems in a relationship, you can also talk to the person about this if you know each other long enough and had some intimate time already.

I am going to consider 3 Stages, the first is curable, the second is “fixable” and the third is plain impossible or just not worth your energy. In this case of stage 3, you can not do anything but wait and quit the contact.

First stage:

  • You are becoming clingy, you realise, that he/she is not responding that quickly to you as you respond to them.
  • You are not allowing them enough space to develop a relationship and rush into their life.
    • To fix this:
      • Try not to make any contact for 12h first.
        You will see: if they contact you within that time, everything is alright, but you still have to slow down.
      • If the person does not respond, wait another 12h (on top of that).
        Here you will see if the he or she is really into you.
      • If there is still no response, text him/her 3 days after you stopped contacting each other.
        The person will ask what you were doing if they miss you, but if not, you have to become ice cold now.
      • Cut the habit of contacting first and answer at least twice as late as they do.
        This indicates that you just had some free time when you were clingy in the last few days.
      • You may now meet again! But only, if you feel ready!
Second stage:
  • You are stalking the person’s Online Status
  • They respond hours after you text them
  • They may not even respond at all sometimes
  • The person texts only every 12h-24h and sometimes doesn’t answer at all
    • To fix this:
      • Try the fix from Stage one.
      • If you fail, wait for a week, don’t contact this person at all.
        Delete or hide everything that reminds you of that person.
        If you think you have the willpower, you can at least answer their questions though I do not recommend it at all.
      • Now after not contacting them for a week, you have to text them or talk to them on the phone as nothing happened. They will wonder what you did in that time, you become more interesting.
        Also: after not contacting this person for a week, you feel a little bit more “free”.
      • If you still feel uncomfortable, continue to the third stage.
Third stage:
  • You don’t want to meet friends anymore
  • All you can think about is this person
  • You start masturbating more frequent than ever before (draining your mentality)
  • You have no desire for anything right now
    • To fix this:
      • Or at least, to rescue you as fast as possible from any mental damage:
      • You cannot do anything to fix your relationship anymore.
      • Stop talking to this person, don’t contact them at all and delete/hide everything that reminds you of them.
      • Consider meeting new people
      • Meet your friends, they are already starting to miss you.
      • Make two lists: one that has all positive factors and one that has all negative ones of that person,
        It will be hard to find any negative sides of that person in that stage, but keep in mind, that you mind is just trying to trick you. This what you are experiencing right now is just an illusion.
      • Rip the pro list apart and hang the negative list somewhere you can see it.
        You can even put it on your desk and keep it there.
      • After 2 days throw the negative list away too.
        Read it before you toss it though.
      • Move on! The best thing now is to forget.
        Whatever is in your head now, it is an illusion and is only going to harm you the person you want to be with.
      • Forget this person.
If I come up with more stuff I will add it to this list of course 😉
Cheers, Wlad C.