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Did your partner fall in love with you?

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Recently I wrote an article on how to cure Oneitis.
It’s “symptoms” are though only felt by the person experiencing it.

There is nothing wrong with knowing those signs yourself, as it is normal to give them away.

Once fell in love, you figure yourself thinking about this person all the time,
you cannot think straight if they didn’t text you for a few hours or did not respond at all today.

Even if you were busy all day long and just could not reach this person, they will become nervous when they text you.

You can say that about 95% of People even talk in monologues when texting their crush.

Imagine, this was a chat window:

Partner1: “Hey, how are you?”

Partner1: “I’ve been doing ….”

Partner1: “haha”

Partner1: “How was your day?”

Partner1: “Sorry, I write so much haha”

Of course, they also may just like you, or need some attention at the time.
This indicator itself does not  approve anything but sympathy yet.

A quick check you can do on yourself (if you are having an Oneitis) is:

  1. Do you feel like you are having a rush when the partner touches you?
  2. Do you miss the partner immediately after saying goodbye after a meeting.
  3. Do you feel a lot of tension when you’re alone with them and thinking “I can’t quite express myself right to them. If they only knew…”etc. ?

So, you get the idea. Before being able to read other people, you have to understand, how you feel yourself being in the same situation. Imagine their experience instead of just observing.

The more experience you get, the easier understanding them is.

So, to the 1. point above: Whenever you feel in love with someone, you try to touch them, no matter what. You can observe them doing the same. If they touch you every time they have the chance to do so, they are either gaming you or trying to get a hold on you by actually touching you.

2. point: Missing the partner immediately after parting shows a lot of insecurity, as they feel like you will forget them immediately after leaving, they will try to contact you either in the exact same minute you leave and text you, OR they won’t contact you for 3 days (try to maintain the 3 day rule) if you just started dating.

3. point: The shock when you are suddenly alone with this person.
When you are having a shock, what is the very first thing you do?
You react.

How do you react? 

Facial expression!

How does shocked look like?

  • Staring or opening eyelids as far as possible and more than normal. The “Bamby-Eyes” if you want to name it.

So, now that you found out that your partner fell or did not fall in love with you.
What do you do?

Do you feel the same?

In case they do not show those signs, maybe they are not ready yet?
Maybe you just found this article while searching for approval that they actually might like you despite of all those negative reactions you get?

Leave them some space then.

But, if you do get the desired reactions, congratulations! Have fun with your newly assured partner!

This all is to be taken with a massive grain of salt of course.

Do talk about that you noticed something different in their behaviour, but do not tell them “But this blog said you were in love with me!”

This article is there to help you, but it is by far not a guide to follow one by one.

Cheers, Wlad C.

How to deal with Depression

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There are two main types of depression, most depressions are ‘software’ related, only some of them are ‘hardware’ related.


If you believe to have a depression, then here are a few questions you can ask yourself:

  • Are you ready to take very high risks (for example driving way too fast or tend to neglet important meetings and friends) ?
  • Do you smoke cigarettes/weed (yes I know your secrets haha) or drink alcohol more than usual?
    • do you feel like you have a certain relieve after consuming it?
  • Are you very unhappy with yourself or your life?
  • Do you lack interest in your hobbies or things you found interesting before?
  • Are you afraid of failure? Especially when you do everyday stuff?
  • Do you even feel like taking your own life?
  • Do you lose control over your emotions regularly?
  • Do you feel the urge to prove yourself to others or to constantly dominate?
  • Do you argue with friends and family a lot?
  • Do you feel like you have to do a lot of sports to feel better?
In the mental state of a depression, it is clearly normal to have less energy and to not feel like doing anything.
Don’t blame yourself here, you are responsible for yourself, BUT one cannot just stop being depressed, so bare with your own.
The best thing you can do, when you are depressed, is to take action.

The most important thing here is to take small steps though.

Even if you’re a tough guy, taking too big steps may wreck your ability to regain happienes and motivation and may set you back by months!


Cheers, Wlad C.

How to deal with a shittest

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First: What is a Shittest?
A shittest is the way girls test men to see whether a guy is able to understand her and most importantly able to handle her.
She may do little rapport to major breaks to see what you will do.
For example, if everything goes well and you both show your interest towards each other and then, she suddenly says you’re boring or pushes you off her. (how to deal with it is below in the text)
Girls never stop giving your shittests.

But… why?

And how to pass every single one of them?

It is sort of a test for congruence. Check the article on congruence here)
There are girls who give you harsh and very difficult shittests every once in a while.
Also there are girls who give slight ones very often, even various times a day, too!
Never try to impress the girl if you “kinda feel like it” after receiving a shittest, ever.
She won’t be as impressed as you think she might be. Or she might even lose interest in you completely for a while.
When you are free of outcome and actually being fun instead, you will pass those tests easily!

How does it work?

When a girl tests you, it can lead you to two paths:
  1. You show her, that you will not be clingy all of the time:This makes you more interesting, as she still has to chase you.
    Most girls are like cats, as long as you play with them every once in a while and make them chase what they want, they will have a lot of fun.
    Whenever you stop, she loses interest.


  2. You show her, that you need her.This only works with the following girl:
    She may need security and wants to KNOW that you will stay with her.
    This only works with girls who are looking for a relationship and don’t want to chase anymore.
    They are more into a relationship than the chasers.
    Still, she might shittest you every once in a while, so be aware!
    Most guys choose this path out of instinct. They are scared to lose the girl and lose her through being scared. That easy!

What to do:

You are a MAN so stand your ground, don’t ever try to change yourself for her. (Both changing and not changing are also the same paths as above)

PUSH!

You have to keep shittesting her too.

Why should you be crying about her being mean to you?
If you do cry, then you deserve it.
She needs a man, not a woman. (most of them 😉 )

Shape shifting

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This is also on Lifting your self valuation.
Shape shifting your mind and appearance to other people is quiet tricky.
You are switching between personalities, So be careful.
If you screw it up, you may become less sympathetic to the particular person.

There is a System out there about the 8 Types of people, or women to be exact.
I for myself do not think this System was very useful. Yes there are different types of people,
but how on earth would you know what you are confronting, if these people are most often a mix of different character types.
You do not want to meet anyone who is boring.

Social Calibration


So, here comes the tricky part: to do Shape shifting in a social environment or around different people, you have to be socially calibrated.
That means you have to go out and talk to a lot of people first, before you can switch between different personality types.
Still, at First, even if you are a complete starter, you can try out one personality for each friends circle.
You may struggle at first, especially when meeting a friend from one circle and then another from another circle you have.
They do both, of course, not know the difference.
You may appear creepy when you meet both at the same time.
Here you might have to make people qualify.
You are the leader anyway.
If some person is getting suspicious, you may use some tricks like valuing one friend over another.
Through this, the less valued friend will respect you more, but will not call you to meet anymore, the more valued one will call you more, still you could even screw his/her self image up, making them arrogant.
Here I advise you not to confront two different circles with each other if you are not ready yet.


Example for Shape shifting:

You may use the higher phase (if in control) to meet high energy people to fit in first.
Later you can get to them with a lower phase for them to push you up and destroy your low phase.
If you cannot get UP and have a strong down phase, these friends are the best for you to contact if you need help.
If you are in a casual down phase, you will either need friends who have low energy and some hobbies.
Doing hobbies while in high phase may also boost your skills though.

Optimism, the right one.

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That’s not going to be easy.
It’s not as easy as you think.
It will be hard.

Bullshit!
These arguments never stopped me. And they will not stop you from achieving your goals, ever!

Let’s analyse it:
People who tell that, are very pessimistic, right.
But they also do not believe in you. Their perspective does not involve your abilities, your possibilities in near future and all of your mindset.

I for myself am sometimes over optimistic.
Of course, you have to calibrate, whether you are too optimistic or not optimistic enough.


Realism

…is complete bullshit regarding people comparing themselves.
As most of the so called “realism” comes from people no one, or most of those who use the word realism, really understands in the first place.
Best to say, is what I created as a photo for facebook recently.
You may not find this being my profile picture anymore,
as I do part my private profile from my “official” artist pages.

Establishing the base confidence

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As you may or may not know, confidence is more of a skill rather than something you are born with.
Of course you can be raised up to be confident, but everyone has his particular “holes” in their personality.

NOBODY IS PERFECT

Or at least, that’s what they say and what we keep repeating as is sounds logical to us.
In the context of noone being able to know what to do next and how to obtain a higher level of confidence it does have reason.

But first, let me explain, why confidence is so important.
The best way is to take an example out of our everyday life.
We all have a certain hobby, sport or whatever you do what I will not try to guess, we’d like to be good at.
But what defines confidence? And why does it affect our learning and training?

We all had those friends, telling us that we cannot do something.
We cannot sing or we are just not that type of what it takes to be to do something.
Actually, you’re not born with that confidence to throw these harassing words off.

Confidence is trained.

Body language

As people ask me, how to be confident, I will most certainly look at them and tell them to straighten their spine.

Not a big thing, huh?
It’s not. But it’s effect is huge!

Try this:
Stand up straight.
As straight as you can.
Now throw your neck back.
Also, you can try to lift your arms sidewards to take up more space.

This will ensure, that you take up as much space as possible.

Why this is important?

We all express ourselves through body language.